The Almost 100 Calorie-I'm Not Kidding-Diet Cookie Part I

After eating half a dozen  Chocolate Chip Addiction  Cookies this past weekend, I was trying my darndest to figure out how could I possibly drop ten pounds in the next couple of weeks months so I don't have to wrap myself in an Army blanket or kimono when I squeeze myself into that tankini.  It's gonna get mighty hot sweating like a hooker in the church choir this summer if some inches don't get off my hips and I continue to wear my jeans, sweater tunics and Spanx--how many of those 'shaper' undergarments can a grown woman wear? I wonder.  I also wonder if someone slapped me on the butt while wearing under armour, if their hand would sting and sound like a gun going off...maybe that's why they call them Spanx.  Is there summer Spanx?  Does it matter the older we get or are we just fooling ourselves into thinking we can keep it all tucked in?  I'm thinking Nancy Reagan had something going in those waste-to-toe beach coverups when she and President Hubby frolicked on the beach.  Of course, it wasn't 117 degrees in sunny California like it is out here on the High Plains Hell when all you want to do is skinny dip or lay on the a/c vents in the house until November.

OK, enough Spanx speculation.  Since I have a serious sweet tooth--the Nouveau medical diet gurus would call it a 'Carb Addiction'--I decided that rather than eat lettuce for a week and then find the cookies I hid, I would look into this new 'Cookie Diet' I've seen at various stores.  The b.s. reviews, of course, talk about how easy-peasy this is.  Just eat 5-6 cookies during the day and a 500 calorie dinner at night and watch the pounds fly off.  Googling away from the marketing/sales websites was a different story.  'These aren't Grandma's cookies," said one.  'Kind of tasted like nothing', said another.  Maybe those success stories were paid to say they lost 20 lbs.  Ya' think?  Maybe I'm an idiot to think this could work.  I say, I'm gonna see what I can come up with.

There appear to be several low-calorie, low-carb, no gluten, no nothing recipes out there.  I'm giving this a shot to see if it's even possible.  These will not be Paleo, Vegan or organic and if they are, it's just how the cookie crumbled.  Sorry.  They will have Splenda, Splenda Brown Sugar Blend 'natural' chemicals in them but since I've been pouring Sweet 'n Lo in my coffee since it replaced the saccharin my Grandma always had around, I should have something weird by now growing someplace besides my hips.  So here's my idea of  yummy 'diet' cookies/snacks--and instead of eating 5-6/day I'm going to keep these down to 2-3 MAX.  If my ass hips start looking like Britney's, I'll package and sell 'em.  If I do really lose 10 lbs in some reasonable amount of time, I'll let you know.  If I don't, I'll lie about it--just kidding. Oh, throw in at least 30 minutes on the treadmill, elliptical or dog walk once a week every day you can.  It's good for the dog, your heart and gets the dust and ironing off the gym equipment.

Some information you might not give a darn about find useful if you want to try these.  Almond flour (which you can buy at a ridiculously increased price above regular flour) is available at most grocery stores (and Amazon.com) albeit in the ethnic or gourmet (why?) sections of your grocery store; Bob's Red Mill Almond Meal/Flour, for example.  Almond flour is nutty (no kidding) and slightly sweet so you can use less sugar/Splenda in the recipes.  It makes great bread, too.  Almond flour is a low-carb, great-tasting replacement for regular flour--it reduces carbs by 75%!  That's a really big deal when you want to stuff your face with bread and cookies and know better when trying to get over the menopudge.  It has Vitamin E, Calcium, Magnesium and trace Copper so there's added good stuff in it and the other ingredients.  A 1/4 cup almond flour does have 160 calories but since we will not be sitting down with a spoon and eating it out of the bag, I'm counting on Splenda, eggs, a tiny bit of old-fashioned oats to fill out the filling and keep it thin so to speak.  I'm going to be experimenting with several ideas over the coming days/weeks. These low-carb treats are certainly diabetic friendly as long as you don't eat the whole batch.  Believe me, these don't even begin to taste Atkinsy and icky.  They are really, really good.

Almost 100 Calorie Low-Carb Cookies
 Preheat oven to 350 degrees

4 TBSP Peanut Butter (crunch or creamy--it doesn't matter, same calories)
1 egg
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp vanilla

1/4 c Splenda Brown Sugar Blend
1 c almond flour/meal
1/4 c old fashioned oats
1/4 c pecans

Blend  first five ingredients in medium sized bowl.  Add sugar blend, almond flour and oats.  Stir until mixed and add pecans.  The pecans are optional but they do add a nice crunch and flavor if you're not allergic or a pecanaphobic.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and drop by: a) tablespoon/cookie scoop for 115 calorie/4 carb cookies or, b) teaspoon sized for less than 100 calorie and 1 less carb.  Bake for approximately 15 minutes or until edges brown.  Remove from oven, cool on racks and have yourself a nice glass of milk and a couple of cookies.  These are so healthy I can hardly stand it.  Of course, moderation in all things...right? Nah...will power, baby.

Bon bon!