Chocolate Chip Addiction or Julia Must be in My Kitchen

When I was looking for something to take to the Spring Shiloh Shepherd dog show this past weekend something wonderfully sinful, easy to transport and one of those 'OMG, who made these?' cookies, I came across this decadent recipe. 

Yes, I have expensive dogs--aren't they all?--ISSR Shiloh Shepherds -- but learned after the dog investment I am too old lazy to show said dog(s) much less breed them so we spend enormous amounts of cash on high-end dog food for said high-end dog(s), vet bills and various other stupid human things we think our dog(s) must have but not one has ever been in the dog show.  Go figure.

 

Apparently, there is a master pastry chef who must be French, I'm thinkin', (nicknamed 'Mr. Chocolate') and low-and-behold with a little Wiki-web-walking discovered this chef grew up in the South of France, bien sur.  He now owns seven shops in NYC so obviously, he knows what he's doing and who would challenge a chocolate man named Jacques' recipe who's up to his elbows in cookie dough?  That's like throwing away the winning lottery ticket because who wants more money?  It's just stupid and wrong and painfully regretful.

 

Now, you could just go out and buy those little chocolate chips in a bag and probably no one would be the wiser, and you could save yourself a LOT of time but I do love to make things just a bit more complicated, don't I?  So, you should buy a block of the very best chocolate you can buy at your grocery store, chocolate shop or import grocer.  You are going to 'chop' the chocolate into chunks so when you bite into that gooey, thick cookie your eyes will roll back in your head, you will make a little moan and then when you realize everyone is staring at you like you grew a third ear or are indulging yourself in something illicit, you will smile and say, 'I declare, doesn't everyone?'

 

Well, as things don't always go as planned and I'm sure you have visions that I have the perfect kitchen, cook with ease and every little thing is in it's place, you couldn't be more wrong on this day.  The first big piss me off moment problem started with Big Julia, my Kitchenaid mixer. Big J just didn't like the paddle attachment. I fiddled, yanked, caressed and cursed at her to no avail. So thinking something must be wrong with the attachment, I switched it for the wire thingy attachment. Nada, nothing, zilch. I now pull out my hand mixer knowing darned good and well it would not be adequate for this monster recipe but again, when I plugged it in, nothing. I reset buttons, moved to another switch on the wall, but no happy whirring sounds. I moved Big J and the hand mixer to another side of the kitchen balancing them precariously on the edge of the chopping board, plugged her in and whamo! Purred like a kitten. As I began to add the flour, things got a bit out of hand because Big J's bowl was having a devil of a time holding all that butter, sugar and 6 cups of flour. Flour went flying, and all the counters, stove, floor and the Short Dog, Agnies of Pissisi,  were part of the Pillsbury Bleached and Enriched Flour Family. 

I was so glad The Most Wonderful Husband in the World was off buying more mulch while I redesigned our kitchen's color scheme. I don't think he fully appreciates my great efforts to follow in Julia's steps (even though I've nicknamed him 'Paul')--launching rubber spatulas, hacking, slinging and wiping where no one before her dared to go.  Well, all's well. The dogs got sugar-coated and helped clean up the floor, the counters are clean once again and Julia was smiling in the corner.

 
So, fear not!  'You can DO what you must DO!' You can even mix up the dough and refrigerate it for several days or just start right in.

 

Jacques Torres' Secret Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe  (it's not a secret obviously since it was published in the NY Times and I'm blabbing about it right here)

Makes approx 25 5-inch cookies or 8 1/2 dozen 1 1/4-inch cookies--holy cow that's a lot of little cookies, isn't it?  I'm sure dividing the recipe in half is acceptable but who doesn't want dozens of chocolate chip cookies?

Ingredients:

1 pound unsalted butter
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
2 1/4 cups packed light-brown sugar
4 large eggs
3 cups plus 2 tablespoons pastry flour*
3 cups bread flour
1 tablespoon salt (I used coarse sea salt and it gave a wonderfully salty flavor to the sweetness)
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
some milk...add a little as needed to keep mixer from exploding
2 pounds bittersweet or semi-sweet chocolate, coarsely chopped--use a large chef's knife and don't give up or you can give up and buy chocolate bits...Julia loved them.

Pounds-o-chocolate

Directions - Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick baking mats--do not grease pans; set aside.  In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or if you don't have one, just work those triceps, baby), cream together butter and sugars.  Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition.  Reduce speed to low (which by now is exactly how you'll be wishing you'd asked for that KitchenAid appliance for your anniversary) and add both flours, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, and chocolate; mix until well combined.  Using a 4-ounce scoop for larger cookies or a 1-ounce scoop for smaller cookies (or two tablespoons for large cookies or two teaspoons for little ones), scoop cookie dough onto prepared baking sheets, about 2 inches apart. Bake until lightly browned, but still soft, about 15 minutes for larger cookies.  Cool slightly on baking sheets before transferring to a wire rack.
 
*If you don't have pastry flour which I could not find anywhere,  use cake flour (mine was boxed) and bread flour.

Keep cookies away from dog(s), husbands and small children--take cookies in purse to car or reorganize your closet with a stash of cookies hidden in the laundry basket and eat until you feel really guilty.  See?  Now you can start that diet (juicing ?) you've been meaning to do just in time for those Daisy Dukes and string bikinis...well, maybe.  Doesn't everyone? ;)

Bon chocolat'