PG-13 Chex Mix

Rated PG-13 Chex Mix

--not for children.

There's no denying when the holidays are getting close, The Best Husband in the World adds stock value to the cereal and nut manufacturers by purchasing large volumes of food items to make the best Chex Mix anywhere.  This is a recipe handed down and tweaked to perfection.  You can up the heat factor but whatever you do, don't leave out the hot spices.  Heartburn is worth it in this case and it is addictive.  I don't think you can check yourself into a Betty Ford clinic but you can probably join Weight Watchers after sitting around watching football (BOOMER! SOONER!) and chowing on bowls of Mix.  It's definitely worth the extra calories.  A batch of this will make about 2-2 gallon ziplocs so there's plenty for your guests but just in case, you should probably Make A Lot.

You'll want to go check out your spice pantry.  If you've never heard of 'Fines Herbs' we couldn't find it here until we went to a specialy store but you usually can find it at your grocer in the rest of the inhabited USA.  Fines Herbs is a combination of parsley, chives, tarragon, chervil, marjoram, cress, cicely and lemon balm.  It is not pungent but it is a key ingredient so don't leave it out.  You also might want to grab the wine, beer or your hot chocolate because unlike some 'Mix' recipes, this is a slow agonizing process.  I'm sure you could speed it up by eliminating some of the intervals but that's up to you.  I always start stealing handfuls as soon as it gets hot and the kitchen is filled with all the spicy goodness that puts me under its spell and makes me start sneaking bowls bites when hubby isn't looking.

Spice It Up Chex Mix

200 degree oven

5 c EACH: Wheat Chex, Rice Chex, Corn Chex (and you can definitely use a store brand)
4 c Stick Pretzels - the twist pretzels get too hard so use sticks
4 c Mixed Nuts - keep your eyes out for sales and coupons!

1 c Canola or Vegetable Oil
2 TBSP Worchstershire Sauce
2 tsp EACH: Tobasco, Liquid Smoke

Spices:
2 tsp EACH: Garlic Salt, Chili Powder
1 tsp EACH: Onion Salt, Fines Herbs
1/2-1.5 tsp Cayenne (you decide how hot you want your mouth and belly to burn)

3 large aluminum disposable turkey-size pans (buy them at the dollar store)

Mix cereal, pretzels and nuts in one pan.  Blend together oil, W Sauce and Liquid Smoke in small bowl and pour half over cereal mix.  Stir to coat.  Mix spices in smal bowl and sprinkle over oiled mix.  Blend well, pour remaining oil mixture over cereals and stir until coated.  Divide mix into two pans.  Place in oven for 15 minutes.

Remove from oven, dump one pan into empty pan, stir gently and repeat with other pan.  You are going to be doing this for the next two hours--every 15 minutes.  Yes, two hours!  Patience is a virgin virtue and that is exactly why I don't cook this.  Hubby has the patience of grass growing so he gets all the credit, I get to eat the Mix and blame him for my holiday thighs.

Bon Caliente!