SPIDERWEB ENGLISH MUFFINS

(NOTE--this week, being the week before the big Halloween weekend, Elvira will be cooking kiddie stuff (gross to us adults, but fun for the kids) AND brewing up some beverages you'll want to try at your Adult celebrations so stay tuned, be a kid, have a glass of milk, a brewsky or a shot of scary stuff).

Elvira can be pretty stupid sometimes but she generally figures things out...eventually.  It's just difficult to keep her mind on cooking when she's such a bad girl.  She just stares at hubby and won't focus on her other duties.

Well,  I warned you early on there would be times when nothing comes out right--you follow the recipe to a tee and it sucks.  You tweak it and it sucks.  You go with your first instinct and TADA!  you have to change it from what it was going to be because although it doesn't suck, it has nothing to do with the original concept.  That's what happened with these little, golden spiderwebs.  They are supposed to be all wispy, airy and spiderweb-looking but no matter what I did (three flipping times), they just didn't do what I wanted them to. 

My first mistake was probably trying to make these on a high-humidity, Florida-type day.  Summer has come back with a vengeance.  Anyway, that's what I think happened.  I decided right from the get go to tweak.  Sometimes, tweaking results in nothing you planned originally which was this case.  However, the dogs are always very happy when I tweak.  I had added an egg white to the mixture thinking it would 'lighten' the webbiness of the webs--it did not.   So, next, I followed the recipe to a tee and it became worse.  They baked too quickly and they looked like...well, we shouldn't go there but the dogs were most happy to hide the evidence.  Lastly, I said heck with it and just grated the darned stuff without any additions except the seasoning salt and it just cooked into a blob.

I feel from my years as a Mom with young kids that you can always convince your kids your meals are wonderful, especially if you have boys and especially if you add a plastic insect.  They will shriek with delight or turn you in to DHS.

If this incredibly, difficult recipe is too much for you, just slap a slice of American cheese on your child's English Muffin, cram a plastic bug in it and tell them it's Halloween food.  They probably won't know the difference. 

NOTE:  These were supposed to be an appetizer--little, crunchy, airy, cheesy appetizers...not this time.  The dogs ran away when they saw the last bunch go into the oven.

(NOT APPETIZER) SPIDERWEB (NOW) ENGLISH MUFFINS

Grate 1/2 c Swiss cheese and 1/2 c Cheddar cheese
You can add an egg white or a whole egg if you want this to be more of an omelette--up to you
Mix 2 TBSP flour and 1/4 tsp Seasoning Salt--if you make these for an adult or non-averse-to-new-flavors child, then add
a pinch of smoked, sweet, Paprika

Line a cookie sheet with parchment and drop tablespoon dollops on sheet.  Spread/flatten dollops and maybe you'll get a web!
Cook in 375 degree oven approximately 10 minutes until the edges barely start to brown.  Remove from oven, cool and remove with very thin, metal spatula.  Top with insects, place on toasted English Muffin.  Bug appétit!