No Blarney--A Complete Irish Dinner

OK, so an Irishman walks out of a bar...yes, it is possible.

If you're not lucky enough to be married to an Irishman (Italian), I'm here to help you celebrate St. Paddy's Day with the one you love or like or are just trying to impress by cooking a complete Irish meal, start to finish, with your crockpot and very few ingredients.

St. Patrick's Day is a big enough deal around our house and even non-Irish humans use it as an excuse to wear green, drink green, dance in the street and talk with a bad Irish brogue.  We Scot/Irish lassies love the pinching part (nicely, please) and find the color green a welcoming change of attire from the drab tartans of winter.

In case you ever wondered where all this o'celebratin' came from (and if you didn't wonder, I'm telling you anyway), legend has it there were too many snakes slithering all over creation and St. Patrick arrived just in the nick of time, ordered everyone into the pubs, dancin' and singin' until the noise made the snakes jump into the icy cold waters of the nearby sea, never to be seen again.  Unfortunately, in return, the Irish had to eat potatoes three times a day and even make their ale from the lowly spuds.  I promise it's true.  Swear on a leprechaun and me lucky charms.

Let's move onto some true Irish cuisine: Corned Beef and Cabbage, Colcannon and Irish Soda Bread. Nothing could be simpler than Corned Beef--buy the package of beef that has the little seasoning packet tucked right inside or you can buy a brisket and season it yourself but I truly don't think the trouble is worth it when it's already done for you.  Colcannon may seem like a strange combination--potatoes and cabbage--but it is amazingly good.  The first time I hesitantly made it, I felt sure it would taste really cabbagey but it is a lovely hint of buttery, wholesome goodness you will like--unless you just hate cabbage and you should just go straight to dessert.

Soda bread couldn't be easier but it can also be rather bland and because there is so little fat in it, it will turn into an Irish rock you could kill a snake with.  My little mini breads are tastier because I don't just put together flour, baking soda and buttermilk.  And, fortunately, you do not have to do as our ancestors and bake it in a 'bastible'--cast iron pot with a lid--placed right in the coals of the fire because in the 1800's hardly anyone but the French had a chef's oven to cook in and soda bread delivery never really took off.

St. Paddy's Day Dinner

1 corned beef brisket with seasoning packet
1 can or bottle of beer or ale (any brand)
1 can beef broth
1 head cabbage
1 package baby carrots

Open package of corned beef, place in large crockpot.  Sprinkle contents of seasoning packet on top of brisket.  Pour beer, broth and an additional 12-14 oz (can) water.  This may seem like a lot of liquid but when you add the cabbage and carrots in the end, you want to be sure there is enough to slightly cover the contents so they will cook.  Cook on low for 6-8 hours. About two hours before serving, add carrots.  About one hour before serving, cut whole cabbage into wedges and put all but two wedges into crockpot.  Set aside cabbage wedges that remain to make the Colcannon.  When brisket is done, carrots are tender and cabbage is wilted, remove brisket to serving platter and let rest for 10-15 minutes before slicing. Surround brisket with carrots and cabbage on platter.

St Cabbage

Colcannon

4-6 medium sized potatoes, peeled or not--your choice
2 wedges cabbage
1/2 stick butter
1/4 tsp nutmeg
milk or buttermilk

Cover potatoes and cabbage with water in medium saucepan.  Cook over medium heat until potatoes are tender.  Drain and add 1/2 stick butter and enough milk to make mashed potatoes.  Sprinkle nutmeg and stir in, topping with another pat of butter before serving.

Mini Irish Soda Breads

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

2 c whole wheat flour
1 c all purpose flour
1/4 c brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
Whisk together.  Add 1/4 c butter cut into pieces.  Rub into dry ingredients until pea-sized crumbles.
1 c chopped walnuts - add to mixture.

1 large egg
1 c buttermilk
2 TBSP molasses
Stir liquids and egg  together and gradually add to flour mixture until you have a medium firm dough. Turn out on floured surface and knead LIGHTLY about six turns.  Don't overdo and stop before you think you need to.  Flatten dough into round 2" thick disk.  Cut into 6 wedges.  Shape wedges into balls.  Place on baking sheet, flatten into rounds and with a sharp knife cut a cross on top of each to 'let out the demons steam'.  Bake until golden and tester comes out clean--about 30 minutes.  Transfer to rack.  Serve warm.

All in all, this Irish dinner will fill your belly with a hearty meal.  You might even get that Irish Leprechaun you live with to promise you a rainbow and a pot of gold.  Or maybe he'll just make your fairy tale come true like mine has.

Bonnie Ireland!