Okie Gelato

Today, Yesterday, we were warned that the Blizzard of the Year was approaching our neck of the woods even though there is always a more than 50/50 chance nothing at all will happen after the entire city's grocery shelves are bought out and lines form to buy gasoline.  Well, that's exactly what happened.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zero.  The Texas and Oklahoma Panhandles received over a foot of snow and we ain't got even a snowflake's kiss on the cheeks.  (Ain't got is used a lot in these parts but the women in sweatpants, crocs-with-socks, and men in wife-beater shirts are to blame for it).

I had hoped the snow would come heavy and hard so I could make snow ice cream.  I even put out my big, shiny bowl to collect the snow because the weatherman promised with all his techno-maps and projectories that 6-8" of snow would be waiting for us come morning.  School closings had started, the non-stop newscast interrupted all local broadcasts and tons of sand were waiting in the city warehouses so the Mayor wouldn't get caught short (again) when the street crews ran out of sand.

I decided to risk those 'atomic' fallout particles from the atmosphere and make snow ice cream.  At some point, the USDA determined that  snow--that most pristine of nature's elements--is contaminated with atomic joo joo, space crap or alien waste.  Perhaps, but I basically try to ignore the government and it's Health Announcements (because they change weekly) and since the snow only makes random visits here, I knew it would be worth scooping, sugaring and eating a bowl just this once to show the world how safe and good our snow is in this Red State.  I was even prepared to go postal bonkers on our neighbor if those off-leash dogs squatted anywhere near my white snow or just turn our really, really big dog loose on their snow to get even. Let the snow wars begin. But that too, shall have to wait because

THERE I S  N O  S N O W!

As I'm rather like a bulldog that keeps ramming its head into the door, I just don't give up. After falling in love with real, Italian Gelato (oh, you must go to Italy), I wanted you to know you can make your own version in your very own kitchen sans (without) an ice cream maker.  It's creamy and you will feel so 'Martha' or 'Julia' when it comes out of the freezer and you serve it up and tell everyone, "Yea, I made it myself."  The basic recipe has very few ingredients--milk/cream/sugar/vanilla/salt--and you can add anything you like to it.  Same goes for snow ice cream--you just need the snow to start with, add sugar and milk, a splash of vanilla and what a childhood memory you will have or start for your kiddos.

As I had Chocolate Noir Pistache (dark Pistachio chocolate) in my freezer (that I hadn't found and eaten yet from my visit to Paris last summer), I added it as the recipe indicates.  You can use any type of chocolate or not, fresh or frozen fruit and even coffee and cinnamon which is to die for.  If you do not have an ice cream maker, you will freeze this in a covered tupperware or glass container and freeze overnight.  You will need to set it out for approximately 15-30 minutes before serving because it does get rock hard but softens into a creamy mass of mouthasms.

Okie Gelato
In a medium saucepan, combine:

1/3 c sugar
2 TBSP cornstarch
Pinch of salt
then add 1/4 c whole milk, whisking to dissolve cornstarch.  Turn on flame and cook over medium heat until thickened and comes to a boil.  Boil for about one minute, Remove from heat. 
If you are adding chocolate, break up 5 ounces of dark or milk chocolate into hot mixture and let sit until melted and smooth, stirring occasionally.
Pour into medium-sized mixing bowl.  Add:
1/2 c cream
1/2 vanilla bean scraped or 1 tsp real vanilla.  Mix well.  You can add chopped fruit, chocolate bits and nuts if you desire.
Pour into freezer container and freeze overnight or pour into ice cream maker and freeze according to machine directions.

Remember to remove from freezer to allow approximately 15-30 minutes times to soften before serving.

I hope there's snow where you live and you can try making real snow ice cream but if you have to settle for some Okie Gelato, y'all enjoy it and don't get any on ya'.

Buono Gelato!

Pour Some Love on that Steak au Poivre

Do you ever think cooking is passionate? For starters, you could chop onions in your sexiest Victoria's Secret undie get-up.  However, there might be a couple of problems with this: a) dinner might never be cooked or eaten with the obvious distractions and/or b) depending on your age and level of attractiveness, this could lead to a lack of appetite by the very one you are flaunting your special self at.  Personally, it's been so many years since I've even believed I was ever thin enough to contemplate embarrassing myself in a teeny bikini or overpadded push-up bra that I just glance through the catalog to see if anything even comes near my knees or mid-way to my collarbone and then toss it in the trash. Perhaps the idea of dinner by candlelight puts you in the mood or a bottle of champagne chilling in the ice bucket waiting for the moment when he looks into your eyes and says something romantic as in, 'What's the special occasion?'...and it's your birthday.  Uh-oh.  Well, the truth of the matter is we just don't take the time to make special happenings on at the table as often as we should or could.  Who needs a holiday to cook great food for the one(s) we love? Who knows? We might get lucky and interrupt whatever sports are on TV long enough to spend time at the table having a conversation about dogs, vacations and people who constantly make us shake our heads in wonder--seriously, the Olympics in T-Town(?), open carry governors and what new and never-ending projects are coming up when the weather stays above 50 and that's not happening this week with winter storm warnings on the way.

Now, don't think everything has to be difficult and time consuming to put together the Pièce de Résistance. It doesn't always take half the day standing in the kitchen or cooking with ingredients you've never heard of.  One of my very favorite special dinners is Steak au Poivre.  It is a guaranteed almost sinfully-delicious-you-will-get-in-trouble-in-a-good-way to prepare a steak.  It requires only a few items.  I promise great thank you's will await those who 'do what they should do' (says Julia C.) in one way or another. Mais, oui!

You may serve this with the simplest vegetable dish as the steak and sauce are rich and deserve most of the attention on the plate.  The steak can be prepared without the sauce if you are silly enough to cut calories when you should be indulging every now and then.  A very fun and tasty side dish is Hasselback Potatoes you can start just a little before hand.  Grab some good bread or follow my lead and get that can of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls out for some easy Crescent Bites.

Ah, here's to love and sustenance.

Steak au Poivre (Pepper Steak, and no, it is not going to be a spicy hot steak)

2 TBSP peppercorns, smashed with a rolling pin
  and don't just pour ground pepper on it--it will ruin it
2-2.5 lbs 3/4-1" steak--I prefer a tender cut to be assured the steak will be perfect in the short time cooked
2 TBSP butter, 3 TBSP olive oil
2 TBSP chopped onions or shallots
1/2 c white wine or chicken stock
1/4 c cognac
1/4 c cream
1-2 oz butter
Fresh sliced and whole mushrooms, optional

Melt butter with olive oil in skillet over medium high heat.
Dry steak with paper towels. Press crushed peppercorns into both sides of steak. Be sure your butter/oil is hot enough to really put a nice brown seal on the meat. Place steak in hot butter/oil and brown for 2-3 minutes, turn to other side and cook to medium rare (3-4 minutes) or your desired doneness--do not overcook. Remove from skillet and set aside--wrap plate in foil to keep warm.

Add butter to skillet and cook onions until beginning to turn translucent and if cooking mushrooms (remember to dry them thoroughly), add them to onions and brown slightly. Add wine/broth and cook down to thicken--about 5 minutes on medium high heat. Stir in cream. Continue cooking for several minutes. Carefully add cognac--it can flame so be very careful. Stir and cook until sauce has thickened.

Spoon sauce on dinner plate. Top with steak. Serve with Hasselback Potatoes.

Hasselback Potatoes

This lovely way to serve potatoes are from Nigella Lawson's new cookbook, Nigella Fresh...with a tweak, of course.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
3-4 new or red potatoes (serving for two people...adjust accordingly for more)
Place peeled potato (if you want to leave on peel, it's OK) on a wooden spoon (like you're holding an egg in a race) to hold potato while you slice thinly into 1/4-1/2" slices BUT NOT all the way through to the bottom.

3 TBSP butter
5 TBSP olive oil
1-2 tsp Herbs de Provence or garlic or any subtle herb/spice combination you prefer

Place baking sheet on stovetop and heat butter/oil until sizzling. Turn the potatoes so they are oiled on all sides. Turn cut side up. Spoon oil over top, sprinkle with salt and Herbs, place in oven and cook for 30 minutes or until tender and starting to brown.



Crescent Bites
375 degree oven
1 pkg Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (refrigerated section of grocer)

Take the crescent roll squares--there should be four with two triangles per square. Press down on each triangle perforated line to form a solid rectangle. Roll each rectangle into log and cut into 2" bites. Sprinkle with garlic salt, herbs or parmesan cheese. I like them plain. Place bites on baking sheet or in mini muffin pan and cook for 10-12 minutes until golden brown.



Light Berry Shortcakes

Usually found in the fresh produce section are the (used to be Hostess) shortcake dessert cups. Confession--I truly miss (frozen) Twinkies. So sad, thank you hips and thighs but they are GONE FOREVER. Anyway, these are wonderful little cakes for sharing with the one you love when you top them with berries and wrap them up with the new Cool Whip Frosting or regular or lite Cool Whip. I'm sure these would be Weight Watchers-some-point-or-the-other but just split it with your sweetheart and it really isn't high calorie.

2-4 pre-made shortcakes
1 tub Cool Whip Frosting or Regular or Lite Cool Whip
1 c fresh or frozen (thawed) berries--your choice
1/4 c sugar or if you're not able to have sugar, very lightly sprinkle with a low-or-no-calorie sweetener like Splenda.
Stir sugar into berries and set aside for 20-30 minutes
1/2 c bittersweet or milk chocolate pieces, melted (over simmering water in separate pan w/lid) or in microwave--15 seconds at a time in microwave, stir, repeat until melted and creamy).

Stack one shortcake on your dessert plate. Spoon a tablespoon berries onto cake. Spread 1-2 TBSP Cool Whip over top to cover berries. Place another cake on top and repeat with berries. Frost top and edges of cakes. Sprinkle with more berries, drizzle juice and chocolate.

 Serve and watch the smiles. 
 
If you aren't swept off to romantic places, smack him up side the kiss his head and put on your ugliest, big t-shirt a smile. 

Bon Amour!

Super Bowl Trifecta

Not being a huge fan of football unless it happens to be the Oklahoma Sooners or the New York Giants, I must admit I do look forward to the Super Bowl commercials and munching on some indulgent food morsels until A) I fall asleep or B) the game ends or C) husband gets bored and suggests a movie.



Budweiser Clydesdales

English Shire Horse

My favorite commercials are the Budweiser Clydesdale horses.  My Grandfather actually farmed here with English Shires (a bit smaller by a 'hand' than the Clydesdales).   I always wished I had been older so I would have seen his beautiful draft horses. He came to Oklahoma as a young boy in the late 1800's from Texas in a covered wagon. He eventually married my part-Cherokee Grandmother and built a farm on the edge of what is now Tinker Air Force Base. Grandpa said his horses were gentle giants and if Grandpa said it, it was true. I doubt he drank beer or fully appreciated their talents at football but he did love his horses, nonetheless.

Fast forward to microwaves, LED TV's, fast cars and gun-totin' Okies, let's not spend endless hours in the kitchen while the 'boys' are having a hi-ho time in front of the TV.  To that end, I have three, quick, easy ideas for your pre-game, half-time and celebratory Super Bowl festivities. Two are vegetarian and one is not. Ice down the longnecks and let's watch some Football.

Addiction #1 - Ranch Crackers

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl mix well:
3/4 c vegetable oil
1-1oz package of Ranch dressing
1 tsp dill
1 tsp lemon pepper

Add 1-10 oz package of oyster crackers and stir until thoroughly coated. Spread on cookie sheet, bake 3-5 minutes. Do not burn. Serve warm or store in container if you can keep from eating all of them first.

Addiction #2 - My version of Trisha Yearwood's Hot Corn Dip (if you don't know who Trisha is, she's the wife of Garth Brooks and lives down the road in one of our lovely suburban towns.) Special thanks to my sister-in-law, Mary from New Joisey (that's how it's said, really), for Trisha's cookbook. I love it.

In your same 350 degree pre-heated oven, this dip will take about 30 minutes to bake.
In that cleaned out mixing bowl from those crackers (gonna have to make a second batch):
1-11 oz can of Mexicorn (that funny looking corn with the red and green-looking things in it)
1-11 oz can of jalapeno or chipotle corn
1/2 c mayo
1 c grated Monterrey Jack cheese
1 c grated Colby Jack cheese
2/3 c grated Parmesan or for me, Pecorino Romano cheese
a little splash of Tabasco sauce for some heat and
a little splash of Liquid Smoke--easy on this stuff.   It can overwhelm the dish if you use too much and the dip will taste like you cooked it in the bottom of a charcoal grill.  Not good.

Mix all and put into a Pam'd 9" square baking dish. Bake uncovered for 30-40 minutes. Serve with corn chips or anything you want to dip into this cheesy yummy goodness.  You could add some chopped chicken to this and it becomes a super delish lunch dish--salad on the side.

Addiction #3 - Sliders

Buy some dollar buns--warm them wrapped in foil in the oven for 5 minutes. Shape your ground hamburger meat into mini-munchies. Grill or cook stovetop to desired doneness. Top with cheese: Swiss, American, Cheddar or whatever puts a smile in your mouth.
Add some lettuce, a sliced cherry tomato, mayo, mustard, salt and pepper.

More quick snacks?  Well how about Bisquick Sausage Cheese Balls, Pigs in a Blanket, Crockpot BBQ Little Smokies and lots of Rotel Cheese Dip and chips.  If you want to spend time and wow everyone, cook some pulled pork, crawfish etouffee (need that recipe Bill!), bacon-wrapped shrimp and anything we normally don't eat every day but forgive ourselves when it comes to football watching.

Here's to a Super Bowl-ful of good food, good friends and good times.

Bon Addictions

Southern Biscuits for the Yankee

 

Who doesn't love biscuits fresh out of the oven with butter and Mom's Sand Plum Jelly or covered with sausage gravy? You have to be crazier than a football bat if you said you don't. Out here, that's probably a sin, maybe even against the law. We love our big weekend breakfasts. Biscuits just may be the best thing the South ever did. Go to New York and see if you can find any flaky biscuits...or grits for that matter (no offense or disrespect to our Yankee friends and relatives). The Best Husband in the World didn't grow up eating biscuits in NYC. Poor thing. What a shame. It has been necessary at times for me to put the South right in his mouth so to speak and he is always grateful.

When I was a little kid, all my Great Aunts and Uncles had big farms...not a couple of acres...but hundreds of acres of farmland. During the summers, my brother and cousins would go stay for a week and haul hay. This was before the days of mega-combines rolling the hay into one ton circles and delivering them to the barns via machines and conveyors.   Boys in the Midwest would go out to the hayfields and yank those 75 pound hay bales with their gloved hands onto the bed of a big trailer, take them to the barns and stack them to the ceiling. This generally took place in 90+ degree weather. It was brutally hard work and I think they got paid maybe $5 a day plus three meals and a bed in one of the big farmhouse spare rooms. Talk about strong, fit young men. Their days started before the sun came up with a huge breakfast of biscuits and gravy, grits, fried potatoes, fresh eggs, bacon, sausage and all the milk they could drink straight from the milk cows. No one worried about calories when you sweat and worked as hard as they did.

Well these are what my Great Aunts made and they sure as heck didn't come out of a can. Easy to make. Fail-proof. Delicious. So put on your aprons and let's make the best biscuits you've ever tasted.

Southern Biscuits

This recipe will make about 6-8 good-sized biscuits--you can double it to make a big batch.

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Pam a cookie sheet.
1/2 package yeast (or 1 tsp) into 1/2 c warm water. Set aside. This is not about rising, it's about flavor.
2 heaping c flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
2 TBSP sugar
5 TBSP shortening
3 TBSP butter
1/2 c buttermilk (I didn't have any on hand but I did have cream which I added 2 TBSP lemon juice, let sit--fauxbuttermilk--you can use half and half or milk with the lemon juice as a substitute)

Mix dry ingredients in mixing bowl. Cut shortening and butter into pieces and blend into dry mixture with a fork or pastry blender until is has come together in pea-sized nuggets. Add water/yeast and stir well then add buttermilk, a bit at a time until a slightly sticky dough forms.



Tulsa's Golden Driller
Roughneck Coffee

 

Flour your counter or pastry board and plop dough onto flour. Fold over and knead a few times, lightly roll out until about 1/2-3/4" thick. Cut out with biscuit cutter or juice glass. Place on prepared cookie sheet, bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with butter, jellies, honey or sausage gravy, some scrambled eggs and a big glass of milk or OJ. Don't forget that java--especially good is Tulsa's 'Light Crude Blend' Roughneck Coffee. Just what you need before hitting the rigs and doing some drillin'.

Now get outside and haul some hay, feed the chickens, do some chores or take your dog(s) for a walk. You're good to go until supper.

Bon Biscuit y'all

V-DAY FUNFETTI TATTOO COOKIES-PT 2

(Refer to Funfetti Parfaits Part 1 for first half)

You will now use the other half of your Funfetti Cake Mix. These are the cutest cookies--and if you have any young helpers, they will enjoy getting their hands in the dough and rolling it into balls, smashing with a glass and 'maybe' giving the cookies a heart tattoo...this is a judgment call--you will be using food dye and it will stain just about anything it comes in contact with--fingers, clothes, counters, etc...so maybe Mommy/G-ma would prefer doing the 'tat' art and the little guys can roll and smash.  

Funfetti Tattoo Cookies
Heat oven to 375 degrees

1.5 c cake mix
1 egg
1/8 c oil (not repeating the math)
1/4 c white chocolate bits
1/4 c flour on paper plate
red food dye on porcelain/glass plate and one 1/2" or smaller heart cookie/fondant cutter

Mix ingredients to form cookie dough. Take about a teaspoonful dough and roll into 1" ball. Place on cookie sheet 2" apart.

Take a juice glass and dip bottom into flour--just a light dusting you can smear with your fingers but be sure to shake off excess--smash doughballs with glass. When your balls are flat (poor things and if your mind went outside of the kitchen, shame on you), dip cookie cutter into food dye and press lightly onto cookies. You can also top the cookies with sugar sprinkles before baking.

Now, wasn't that easy (Terese) and we didn't use that nasty silicone.  If it's too much effort to make the F-etti cookies, buy the sugar cookie dough in the refrigerated section of your grocery store and follow directions for baking.

(tres) Bon Fetti

V-DAY FUNFETTI PARFAITS-PT 1

I spent the day being very Funfetti-frustrated because silpat/silicone forms and I just don't seem to work well with each other.  Because I do so love my silicone cupcake liners, I thought I should buy everything silicone  for Valentine's Day; i.e., cute little heart-cake form (icecube trays in disguise), a bavarian bundt big-ass mold for tall heart-shaped cupcakes and tons of heart-shaped inventory to fill my ever-growing 'pink' storage bin(s) (a color for each holiday so I know what's what). 

Recently, a good friend, Teresa, said she wished my recipes were easier.  I was rather surprised at that remark as I thought most of my cooking is pretty simple (with the exception of Boeuf Bourguignon and French fantasies when I have too much energy and time on my hands) and takes just a little extra time in the kitchen.  So with that in mind, I decided to do some short-cut baking for our busy schedules--jobs, family, dogs, kids, grandkids, Super Bowl, HGTV, etc--some more than others--to help my friends have an easier time baking and cooking--especially cupcakes, especially for V-Day.

At my weekly visit to Target land, Betty C. and her friend, Ms. Pillsbury, have the Valentine version of Funfetti cake mix--nothing more than yellow cake mix disguised by colorful and holiday appropriate 'bits' you throw into the batter before baking.  How easy peasy--can't think of much simpler than that.  Well, not being able to leave well enough alone, I could have just told you to buy the F-etti-box, taken pictures of how lovely it turned out and been done with it.  But, you know I had to try my new silicone doodads and that's how the F-etti box turned into F-etti hell.  Why I didn't just make pretty ice cubes is beyond reason.  It was torture to first try filling the batter into those nasty cute little hearts, then they got overfilled and then not even Pam Spray could release the demonic batter from their grip.  So...throw them out and don't do what I did. See the pictures?  Do not do this!  Do not be enticed by the Hobby Lobby and Michael's coupons or the Dollar stores or anyone pushing silicone.  I'm addicted.  I need coupon detox.

Anyway, as Julia would say, 'All is not lost.  Just DO what you have to DO and cover up the mistake'. So here's what you should do.  I will give you the easy details versus my Funfetti Failures (all pics except the final dessert relate to F-etti hell).  And remember--just use your imagination when things don't turn out the way they were supposed to.  This actually turned into a lovely dessert thanks to The Most Wonderful Husband in the World's idea to make parfaits.  Thank you, sweetie.

Buy a box of Funfetti Valentine' Cake Mix--you will be using one-half box for two different items;  this is Part 1 - Parfaits

Filling the cute molds--NO!

The filled molds before baking--NO!

Funfetti Parfaits
1" heart-shaped cookie cutter
Heat oven to 350 degrees
Pam a 13.25 x 9.25" sheet pan--metal, not silicone--I'm donating mine to the Breast Implant Group (B.I.G.)

1.5 c cake mix
1 egg
1/8 c vegetable oil (I doubt anyone has 1/8 measuring cup--it's 1/2 of your 1/4 measuring cup)
1/4 c water
Packet of V-fetti bits
1-2 Ice cream cones, broken into pieces

No stick Silicone! No!

Semi-sweet chocolate bits, maybe 1/4 c
Cherry vanilla ice cream (or strawberry or whatever your fancy but pink ice cream is best)

Blend all ingredients in mixing bowl. Spread in prepared pan. Do not use silicone, cute, heart-shaped ice cube or mini silicone cupcake molds--you will regret it. I promise.  If you don't regret it, please tell me how you made it work before they find their way to B.I.G.

Bake for about 15 minutes or until center is done when toothpick is inserted and comes clean.
Remove from oven and cool 10 minutes.
Press cookie cutter into cake and remove gently to rack. You can use any size cutters and shapes but for the parfaits, the 1" cutter was used because those stupid trays left the mini-cakes so messed up I had to 'reshape' the hearts with a cookie cutter.

In your cutest juice, cocktail, or parfait glass, add one scoop ice cream, break up ice cream cone and add a layer on top of ice cream, sprinkle semi-sweet chocolate bits, add another scoop of ice cream and place those darned cute heart cakes on top. Decorate with glitter hearts picks.  Freeze leftovers for future desserts or little mini-snacks.

Your kids--under 21 or the ones who never grow up--are gonna love this dessert. It is yummy and for you weight watchers, reasonably low calorie depending on the size of your cute little glass and ice cream used. 

Screw the silicone. Done with it.

Bon Funfetti

E Dehillerin, Paris

Lemon Box Scones

 

You simply must make scones now and then which are simply glorified English biscuits.   The good news is you don't have to 'bake' them in a griddle over an open fire (unless you want to) in the Highlands of Scotland as my ancestors did in the 1500's. These are so easy to make and your family will thank you for not putting a bowl of cereal on the table.

Lemon Box Scones

Preheat oven to 375 degrees
Pam a 9" pie pan or round baking dish

2 c flour
1 c lemon cake mix
2 TBSP sugar, 2 TBSP sugar for sprinkling the top
1 TBSP baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 TBSP lemon zest
2/3 c butter, cubed
2 TBSP lemon juice in a 1 c measuring cup, fill remainder with milk

In a medium sized mixing bowl, stir together flour, cake mix, sugar, baking powder and salt.  Add butter and mix in with dough cutter, potato masher or your fingers until pieces are pea-sized.   Stir in lemon zest, add lemon juice and milk and stir.  Batter should be slightly sticky--if too dry, add 1 TBSP milk at at time.  Turn dough out onto floured sufarce and knead 3 or 4 times--add small amounts of  flour until dough is not sticky.  Do not overknead.

Pat dough into prepared pan.  It should be about 1" thick.  Sprinkle top with sugar.  Score into pie-sized slices.  If you prefer, you may free form the dough on a cookie sheet, score and bake.  Bake approximately 20 minutes until skewer inserted in middle comes out clean.

Let cool for 5-10 minutes, cut and serve with butter and your favorite jams, marmalades, lemon curd, clotted cream and/or honey.  A glass of milk, hot tea or coffee round out the yumminess.

 

Bon Citron